Consumer News: Eating grey, highly questionable mystery meat is no longer a magical journey of discovery, thanks to DNA testing.

“It’s just taken the sense of wonder and mystery I used to get from buying cheap mince,” said Craig Cheval from Ross-on-Wye, Herefordshire.

“Sure it said ‘beef’ or ‘pork’ on the label, but I never believed that – one day I could be eating horse, the next squirrel and the day after rat. Now these busybodies from the Food Standards Agency have ruined all that with their DNA testing.”

Consumers groups are calling for vaguer food labelling, in order to bring back the sense of mystery.

“Instead of labelling a product as beef, we suggest they simply call it ‘non-human flesh’, bringing back the lottery element of mystery meat,” said a spokesman from the Consumers’ Association.

“Consumers don’t want to know what they’re eating – that’s just disgusting – they just want a vague clue that it’s an animal and a reassuring stock photo of a farmer on the label.”

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2 Responses

  • Cyberpope

    They need to check BC pork for human DNA, considering they never did say where Pickton’s processed prostitutes were marketed; & now there’s a new pig farmer northern Alberta who has taken over the job of killing & pureeing hookers to mix into sausage meat sold in western Canada(& beyond, I’m sure, costs suddenly went down; it costs nothing to get a religious fanatic pig farmer to go kill for you)

    February 8, 2013 at 4:25 pm
  • mudgutz

    @Cyberpope. I think I tried one of those sausages. Seductive, saucy and with a piece of tail.

    February 10, 2013 at 10:25 pm