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Reality News: The phrase “I’m living the dream” was used correctly last night, after a man was forced to run naked through his old school by the giant, disapproving head of his father.

“I’ve been having the dream off and on for years,” said Craig Alaston, from Queensferry, Wales. “It always starts out the same – I’m sitting in the park on a sunny day. Then the skies cloud over and this giant head appears in the sky. I realise it’s the head of my Dad and he looks very disappointed in me.”

“Then I’m running naked through my old secondary school and everyone’s laughing at me. Then I wake up covered in sweat.”

Alaston says this is the first time he’s actually lived one of his dreams, and really hopes it’s the last.

“Sometimes I have a dream that I’m drowning in a giant trifle, getting slowly sucked under thick, cold  custard. Please don’t let me die like that.”

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