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Weekend News: DIY retailer B&Q has been voted the most popular place for a massive family argument at the weekend, beating competition from J D Sports and Currys.

“We’re incredibly proud that British shoppers have once again chosen B&Q to have a weekend meltdown in,” said a spokesman for the retailer. “In tough economic times it’s good to know that the public are still flocking to our stores, just to shout at each other over what kind of wallpaper they should buy.”

Those surveyed said that they also found B&Q very reliable – as there always seemed to be a crying child being yelled at outside each branch. “That just nicely sets the tone for the whole weekend,” said one person. Shoppers also praised B&Q’s excellent in-store acoustics.

“B&Q is clearly the best place for massive family arguments,” said Rosie Groot-Betoog. “The high ceilings really have a nice echo to them when I scream ‘Don’t you dare knock over those fucking paint tins!’ at my kids.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

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