Swipe left/right

Beer News: Special Brew has posted record sales over Christmas, claiming demand for the high strength lager was ‘as enlarged as our customers’ livers’.

Special Brew manufacturer Carlsberg say that the increase in sales over Christmas was due to millions of Britons looking for a cost-effective way of getting through the forced jollity of the festive season.

“In an economic climate which continues to be volatile, to have achieved these results is testimony to the strength of the Special Brew brand and the commitment of all our customers to make themselves really, really drunk as cheaply as possible,”  said a spokesman for the brewery.

“When faced with spending Christmas with an extended family of people you don’t like, we’re glad to see that the UK once again turned to Special Brew. After a difficult 2012, it’s a good sign that Britain is getting back to normal – drunk, sitting on a park bench, shouting at clouds.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    Thought for the day
  2. News
    Mayday, mayday! Our favourite 14 tweets about Theresa May’s great British Brexit
  3. News
    Morrisons plays ball with (cock) ring donut customer complaint
  4. News
    The ‘Wrong Ivanka’ had a worthy reply to Trump after he confused her with his daughter
  5. Pics
    A footballer warns of the danger of signing autographs and being a new dad
« Swipe navigation »