Swipe left/right

Beer News: Special Brew has posted record sales over Christmas, claiming demand for the high strength lager was ‘as enlarged as our customers’ livers’.

Special Brew manufacturer Carlsberg say that the increase in sales over Christmas was due to millions of Britons looking for a cost-effective way of getting through the forced jollity of the festive season.

“In an economic climate which continues to be volatile, to have achieved these results is testimony to the strength of the Special Brew brand and the commitment of all our customers to make themselves really, really drunk as cheaply as possible,”  said a spokesman for the brewery.

“When faced with spending Christmas with an extended family of people you don’t like, we’re glad to see that the UK once again turned to Special Brew. After a difficult 2012, it’s a good sign that Britain is getting back to normal – drunk, sitting on a park bench, shouting at clouds.”

Story: Simon Swatman


Trending Now

  1. Pics
    The perfect treat for children you hate this Halloween
  2. Pics
    This old Doonesbury cartoon from 17 years ago has gone viral as it’s weirdly prophetic about Donald Trump
  3. News
    Read this woman’s extremely formal rejection letter of a dick pic
  4. Pics
    This NSFW Twitter account puts Sylvanian Families into hilariously dark scenarios
  5. Popular
    If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world
« Swipe navigation »