Coin News: Racist football fans who want to throw things at Rio Ferdinand have been issued their own special edition coin ahead of this weekend’s games.

‘The Flying Windsor’, a Royal Mint commemorative fifty pence piece, features an angry nazi Queen flicking a ‘V’ sign as well as extra spikes for ‘maximum impact’.

“This is the first ever coin designed especially to be thrown at footballers,” says the Mint’s chief designer Cathy Bruntwistle.

“While the spikes are there to improve both grip and aerodynamics, they will also massively increase the size and depth of the wound, should it land on target.”

While the new coin has sparked outrage across the country, the Mint was still insisting this morning that it ‘is in no way controversial’.

“People say this coin is a weapon for racist thugs. Not true,” says Wilfred Comb of the Mint’s commemorative division. “It’s actually a weapon for anybody. You can throw it at at whoever you like, no matter what colour they are. They don’t have to be a footballer – someone at work, perhaps, or just a person in the street you’ve never even met before.”

“Whatever the occasion, we at the Royal Mint would recommend you buy the special presentation collection box, which includes a pocket catapult and an attractive paper target. At £39.99, including postage and packaging, it really is the perfect way to kick off your Christmas celebrations.”

Story: Jasper Gibson

Image: Q4Nobody

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