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Royal News: She’s up the royal duff! Will Kate and Will produce a swish-hipped darling of the catwalks? Or will their progeny be a hump-backed degenerate who gambles away Buckingham Palace after too much Bells and Irn Bru?

[use the controls in the bottom left of the frame]




Using state-of-the-art face recombination technology, the Poke therefore invites you to glimpse the future of the monarchy.

Take up the spoon of destiny and stir the genetic melting pot, that you might gaze upon a face that will surely haunt magazine covers, TVs and computer screens for the rest of your disenfranchised life!

Story: Jasper Gibson

Game: Q4Nobody

Breaking News: Iron Crotch masters demonstrate their 'ball-breaking stamina'

 

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