Food News: Pizza Hut has unveiled a new passive-aggressive menu, that asks customers to “Please buy a pizza. Or don’t. Like we give a shit.”

The new menu is a bold move to try and turn around a drop in sales by the pizza chain, who hope that a more aggressive menu will give their brand ‘an edge’.

“No one else is telling prospective customers to fuck off, so we’ll definitely have a unique place in the market,” said Tony Malbona, Pizza Hut’s head of marketing.

“My favourite part of the new menu is when we suggest customers supersize to a two litre bottle of Pepsi so that all their ‘stupid, stinking, rotten teeth’ fall out.”

The new menu also prompts customers to ‘try one of our delicious Meat Feast pizzas, you disgusting fucking pig’ – elsewhere the menu suggests ‘why not get a side of garlic bread? Like you haven’t eaten enough dough today, you sickening, bloated sack of guts.’

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

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4 Responses

  • Pamela Patterson

    Brilliant!!!!!! Will definitely bring attention and be all over the news smart tactic. real smart it works for Hollywood when they need to up the anney!.. LOL LOVE IT!

    November 26, 2012 at 3:48 pm
  • JJ

    Is this actually true? Searched just “pizza hut” in google and nothing about this came up, thought it would be swamped in that shit

    November 30, 2012 at 3:12 am
  • Jack J

    Remember when Pizza hut was going to change its name to Pasta hut? This may be similar, nothing more than a ploy to get people talking about.

    November 30, 2012 at 3:28 am
  • Vineland

    What the fuck is a pizza? Doesn’t sound fucking English to me. I’m not paying my taxes so these fucking foreign benefit scroungers can come here fucking fuck jobs fucking fuck fuck non-white minorities fuckety fuck fuck falklands fucking 1966 fucking fuckety fuckety fuck only fools and horses fuck fcuk the fucking war fucking fucking prime ministers questions fuck fuck wimbledon fuck the queen.

    November 30, 2012 at 11:22 pm