Music News: A man attending a recent concert by Muse realised all too late that he had made a huge and terrible mistake.

Max Schrecklich, who attended the gig in Vienna, only realised his terrible error ten minutes after the band had taken to the stage at the Wiener Stadthalle. The venue was reportedly so packed, it took Schrecklich a further 30 minutes to get outside – where he gulped down the cold, fresh air like a thirsty animal at a watering hole.

“I was talked into it by friends,” said Schrecklich. “They said it would be fun. I had not heard their music before. Needless to say, I no longer call these people my friends. Friends don’t let friends attend Muse gigs.”

Schrecklich said he ignored early warning signs at the gig – such as Muse fans – but still thought the experience might in some way be enjoyable.

“It was just awful,” he said, with a glazed thousand-yard stare in his eyes. “It felt like it took days to get out of that horrible place, my ears are still throbbing from the pitiful shrieking sounds coming from the stage.”

Story: Simon Swatman

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16 Responses

  • Ed

    Sorry but just music snobbery here – like the Dar O;Brien comment about how pathetic such people are saying you are listening to the wrong sounds, those sounds you like are the wrong sounds, you should like these sounds. So you don’t like Muse, any of us could of course just insert some group we don’t like into the piece and laugh but how about just accepting others taste is different and thats OK

    November 21, 2012 at 8:12 am
  • Tink

    Settle down, dear. Take it with a sizable grain of salt.

    November 21, 2012 at 9:26 am
  • Matt Bellamy

    Oh dear Mister Ed, seems youre viewing the wrong website…. you should be viewing a slightly less satirical one instead :-D

    November 21, 2012 at 9:32 am
  • jack candy

    The best part is “early warning signs at the gig – such as Muse fans”. The rest is below the usual Poke-level. Replace “Muse” with any other name of a band you don’t like.
    And by the way: I’ve been to this gig in Vienna. ;-)

    November 21, 2012 at 10:04 am
  • Gracie

    lol, I’m a Muser and I found that very, very funny :)

    November 21, 2012 at 10:08 am
  • rob

    Muse , they play shite excellently

    November 21, 2012 at 10:15 am
  • Steve

    Didnt someone do this at a nickleback concert recently?

    November 21, 2012 at 10:32 am
  • famousguest

    Fun fact: His name “Schrecklich” is german for “awful”! I like Muse though……

    November 21, 2012 at 10:54 am
  • Ec

    I have found plenty on this site funny for ages. It is just my view that this is not satirical but just a standard band x are awful we know better than their fans swipe for a cheap laugh and that this site usually manages much funnier and cleverer stuff !

    November 21, 2012 at 11:28 am
  • Mark Hazell

    Not as bad as Britains got talent, which in itself is an oxymoron (and dont get me started on x factor)

    November 21, 2012 at 12:06 pm
  • Dave

    Am I just being thick here – what is the story – man goes to gig, doesn’t like it – leaves???

    November 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm
  • I'm always right

    What I find funny, is that there are still people who think this is a satirical website…

    November 21, 2012 at 1:23 pm
  • Don John

    Nice idea, but very poor execution. 2 out of 10.

    November 21, 2012 at 8:15 pm
  • Noblelox

    Shock horror, Swatman totally unimpressed me yet again.

    November 25, 2012 at 11:47 pm
  • Lewis Caine

    Being offended is a tax you pay, so that you can laugh at jokes that offend others.

    - Jerry Sadowitz.

    January 10, 2013 at 10:56 am
  • Einstein

    Who the hell doesn’t like Muse?

    March 4, 2013 at 1:35 am