Swipe left/right

Lie News: An office worker has admitted he is confused over which lies about his weekend plans he intends to tell his colleagues.

“Every week it’s the same thing,” said an exasperated Craig Norwood, a marketing coordinator from Runcorn. “By Thursday afternoon people usually ask me if I have any plans for the weekend. I certainly have no intention of telling them the truth – that I’m doing nothing and just want to be left alone lying on a couch for 48 hours.”

Norwood says he now gets confused over the lies he tells his co-workers about weekend plans and is worried he’s exhausted most of the plausible options.

“Last week I panicked and foolishly told them I was going on a city break to Amsterdam,” said Norwood. “I don’t know the first thing about Amsterdam and could have easily been caught out if anyone had asked me any questions about it on Monday morning.”

“Thankfully no-one I work with gives a shit about me and they’re just making conversation to be polite.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    People are saying this is the worst LGBT shirt they’ve ever seen
  2. Pics
    This letter complaining about the Great British Bake Off to the Metro is both sublime and ridiculous
  3. Pics
    This receipt has gone viral because someone’s girlfriend thought it was evidence of cheating
  4. Popular
    If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world
  5. News
    This sweet story about Gene Wilder that somone posted on Guardian comments says everything about the man
« Swipe navigation »