Swipe left/right

World News: After an an intense power struggle, China’s Communist Party has selected a nine-year-old boy to run the country for the next ten years.

The Communist Party has met at its National Congress to select the new leader who will take over from outgoing President Hu Jintao.

The controversial decision to select nine-year-old Zhang Wei came after a drawn out battle between Maoist hardliners and reformers keen that the next leader should be ’100% free of corruption’.

“Zhang Wei is supremely qualified to lead China into the next generation,” said CCP spokesman Li Huang.

“He already has great experience in international trade relations – he used to work six day weeks making the official toys of the Olympic mascots Wenlock and Mandeville.”

“He is also very familiar with modern technology, from his time spent making iPhones at the Foxconn plant for £180 a month. It also goes without saying that Zhang Wei is incredibly hard working and cheap. So very, very cheap.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Video Of The Day: Mechanics create an impressive portrait of Queen made from 900 car parts #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Weird World
    Bored businessman makes ridiculous requests to hotel staff to pass the time
  2. News
    People are sharing “hilarious jokes that a few seconds to get” and they’re very amusing indeed
  3. uncategorised
    How this Australian newspaper announced Benedict Cumberbatch’s engagement is hilarious
  4. News
    This couple booked a room on AIRBnB and “walked into a porn shoot”
  5. uncategorised
    Naughty scamps have overrun David Cameron’s #VoteConservative hashtag and it’s hilarious
« Swipe navigation »