Swipe left/right

Cake News: A recruitment consultant from Didsbury has earned the contempt and suspicion of her colleagues by repeatedly bringing homemade cakes into the office.

“Bringing cakes to an office once a week is one thing, but if you do that two or three times a week then I have to question your motives,” remarked co-worker Sandra Benson.

“Yesterday this bitch brought in cupcakes with our names individually iced on them. What the hell was all that about?”

Theories as to exactly why the woman is baking so much vary. Some have suggested she is just trying to make friends, while others think she is trying to ingratiate herself ahead of any redundancies the staff may face in the new year.

“I think she’s trying to fatten us up for some kind of cannibal murder sex plot,” said another colleague. “The way she gleefully sliced up that Battenberg last week made it obvious how much relish she’d take in filleting the meat off my thigh.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Video Of The Day: Mechanics create an impressive portrait of Queen made from 900 car parts #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    This series of texts about a date going wrong is dividing the internet
  2. Pics
    This child has given the most goth answer you could imagine to an ordinary school worksheet
  3. Exclusive
    10 tips for using the London Underground
  4. Pics
    This story about the UK army makes it sound like something from Blackadder
  5. News
    “Top tips for men juggling a successful career and fatherhood” hilariously nails how sexist the advice given to working women is
« Swipe navigation »