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Cake News: A recruitment consultant from Didsbury has earned the contempt and suspicion of her colleagues by repeatedly bringing homemade cakes into the office.

“Bringing cakes to an office once a week is one thing, but if you do that two or three times a week then I have to question your motives,” remarked co-worker Sandra Benson.

“Yesterday this bitch brought in cupcakes with our names individually iced on them. What the hell was all that about?”

Theories as to exactly why the woman is baking so much vary. Some have suggested she is just trying to make friends, while others think she is trying to ingratiate herself ahead of any redundancies the staff may face in the new year.

“I think she’s trying to fatten us up for some kind of cannibal murder sex plot,” said another colleague. “The way she gleefully sliced up that Battenberg last week made it obvious how much relish she’d take in filleting the meat off my thigh.”

Story: Simon Swatman

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