Swipe left/right

Beard News: Rising temperatures due to climate change could mean hipsters may not be able to sustain large bushy beards in the years to come, scientists have warned.

“Data suggests that in 70 years time the climate may just be too hot for hipsters to sport large beards,” said Dr. Steve Barbo from the Hirsute Department of the Climate Change Authority.

“They’ll find temperatures are too high to have that much hair on their face – possibly spelling an end of the ‘urban lumberjack’ look once and for all.”

Researchers used computer modelling to analyse the influence of rising temperatures on the density and size of beards.

They predict that within a decade bearded hipsters will find their facial hair ‘deeply stifling’ to maintain during increasingly hot summers and that in 70 years time even having an ironic moustache could prove ‘potentially fatal’ to hipsters.

“If we don’t act soon, it may mean an end of beards on the high street and in popular culture,” said Dr. Barbo. “Bearded hipster musicians like Bon Iver and the Fleet Foxes will just be a distant, hairy, page in the history books.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. News
    This guy has tried to sum up the post-Brexit situation in the UK on Facebook and it’s ABSURD
  2. Videos
    This Brexit version of Downfall takes us inside Boris Johnson’s bunker
  3. News
    People are cursing Boris with #CurseBorisJohnson: the only nine (funny) tweets you need to read
  4. Exclusive
    3 things you probably hadn’t thought to blame for the Brexmess
  5. Videos
    Boris Johnson gets dubbed over with a Jimmy Savile voice by Peter Serafinowicz
« Swipe navigation »