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Plop News: Long-legged fringe-fanatic Jessie J admitted the secret behind her glowing skin and piercing voice yesterday: Marmite enemas.

“I’ve tried all sorts of enemas,” the singer told Newsround. “But nothing gives me that deep colonic cleanse like Marmite.”

“You don’t know the meaning of inner refreshment until you’ve had a bucket of steaming yeast poured up your dirtbox.”

A spokesman for the controversial spread said he ‘could not confirm or deny’ the healing properties of the product but said that the company was glad people were ‘experimenting’.

“Dappy gave me the idea,” the singer continued. “He’s been doing it for years, way before N-dubz. My advice to people who fancy giving it a go is don’t get freaked out by the meaty smell. Some people panic and switch to Vegemite and that really can turn out to be the most horrific mistake.”

Story: Jasper Gibson


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