Swipe left/right

Snip News: The Secretary of State for Work and Pensions has outlined plans for men on welfare to be offered a ‘burger and a pint’ in Wetherspoons in exchange for a vasectomy.

Iain Duncan Smith says the plan will end the ‘madness’ of large families claiming benefits and also provide a welcome boost in trade for the pub chain.

“There are limits to the amount of welfare available. This is about doing the right thing,” Duncan Smith said.

“The right thing in this case is the mass sterilisation of the poor and working poor – the operation only takes about 15 minutes, which is equal to the time it takes to consume a Wetherspoon’s classic 6oz burger and a pint of Stella.”

Duncan Smith says if the plan proves popular, women will also be offered a menu item in return for their sterility. “If enough men get the snip and opt for a burger, we will roll out plans to offer women a voucher for the Wetherspoon’s Curry Club in exchange for their fallopian tubes.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. News
    Big Sam booted out: the 5 funniest internet comments
  2. Pics
    Can you spot the problem with this art assignment for 11 to 13-year-olds?
  3. News
    A troll-genius tricked people into drilling into their iPhone 7s and they’re fuming
  4. Pics
    This restaurant’s menu for children will make parents say, “yep… that’s what it’s like”
  5. News
    Trump vs Hillary debate: the funniest 9 tweets
« Swipe navigation »