Swipe left/right

Snip News: The Secretary of State for Work and Pensions has outlined plans for men on welfare to be offered a ‘burger and a pint’ in Wetherspoons in exchange for a vasectomy.

Iain Duncan Smith says the plan will end the ‘madness’ of large families claiming benefits and also provide a welcome boost in trade for the pub chain.

“There are limits to the amount of welfare available. This is about doing the right thing,” Duncan Smith said.

“The right thing in this case is the mass sterilisation of the poor and working poor – the operation only takes about 15 minutes, which is equal to the time it takes to consume a Wetherspoon’s classic 6oz burger and a pint of Stella.”

Duncan Smith says if the plan proves popular, women will also be offered a menu item in return for their sterility. “If enough men get the snip and opt for a burger, we will roll out plans to offer women a voucher for the Wetherspoon’s Curry Club in exchange for their fallopian tubes.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Trending Now

  1. Exclusive
    10 of the best placards from #WomensMarch
  2. Pics
    If you thought a section of Donald Trump’s speech sounded familiar – it’s from a Batman movie
  3. Pics
    Fantastic Guardian anecdote about former England goalie Peter Shilton’s useless motivational speech
  4. Exclusive
    The Best Tweets From The Donald Trump Inauguration
  5. Exclusive
    The Best Tweets From The Donald Trump Inauguration
« Swipe navigation »