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Technology News: Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, took to the stage at a special event in California last night and proudly unveiled his winky stick to the audience.

Cook energetically bounded on stage and excitedly told the gathered audience to prepare themselves for ‘the biggest thing to happen to Apple since the iPhone’.

The stage lights then dimmed and a spotlight was pointed at Cook’s crotch. He then dropped his trousers and underwear and proudly pointed at his ding dong.

“We were all expecting a glimpse of the new iPad mini, not an eyeful of Cook’s length of winky,” said one attendee at the special event in San Jose. “But once I got over the shock I was able to appreciate the logical progression that he’s taking with this approach.”

“The apps looked amazing,” said another technology journalist who got a good view of the Apple boss’s wing-wang. “Or maybe that was just his balls.”

Story: Simon Swatman

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