Swipe left/right

Fuel News: After recent confusion over energy pricing plans, the government is urging pensioners to instead burn their massive stack of unpaid fuel bills.

David Cameron’s pledge to make energy companies give every customer their cheapest rates was met with confusion from consumer groups and regulators yesterday. Instead of making a u-turn on the vow for cheaper energy, the government now suggests pensioners simply burn their crippling energy bills if they get cold this winter.

“I understand the price of heating is high,” said Energy Secretary Ed Davey. “If you get cold this winter our message is simple – don’t turn up the central heating, we all know you can’t afford it.

“Simply place all the bills you have in a metal bin, drop a match on them and bask in the few precious minutes of mild warmth they give off as they turn to ashes.”

Arriving in Brussels for an EU summit last night, Mr Cameron said he was on the side of hard-pressed families who struggle to pay energy bills.

“That’s what I meant when I talked about cheap fuel,” said Cameron. “The cheapest fuel is the bills that energy companies send you – families don’t even have to pay postage, as the bills just keep coming and coming.”

Story: Simon Swatman

Breaking News: It's our cake of the week!

 

Trending Now

  1. News
    James Blunt’s new album is out today, so here’s 50 times he won at Twitter
  2. Pics
    34 times “Grumpy Skeletor” was the funniest Twitter account in the world
  3. News
    Giant bucket of shit emptied on Katie Hopkins after she says London “cowed and afraid”
  4. News
    Donald truck wit – Trump pretends to drive a truck and Twitter goes into overdrive
  5. News
    Tube signs capture London’s response to the terror attack
« Swipe navigation »