Swipe left/right

Fuel News: After recent confusion over energy pricing plans, the government is urging pensioners to instead burn their massive stack of unpaid fuel bills.

David Cameron’s pledge to make energy companies give every customer their cheapest rates was met with confusion from consumer groups and regulators yesterday. Instead of making a u-turn on the vow for cheaper energy, the government now suggests pensioners simply burn their crippling energy bills if they get cold this winter.

“I understand the price of heating is high,” said Energy Secretary Ed Davey. “If you get cold this winter our message is simple – don’t turn up the central heating, we all know you can’t afford it.

“Simply place all the bills you have in a metal bin, drop a match on them and bask in the few precious minutes of mild warmth they give off as they turn to ashes.”

Arriving in Brussels for an EU summit last night, Mr Cameron said he was on the side of hard-pressed families who struggle to pay energy bills.

“That’s what I meant when I talked about cheap fuel,” said Cameron. “The cheapest fuel is the bills that energy companies send you – families don’t even have to pay postage, as the bills just keep coming and coming.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Video Of The Day: Mechanics create an impressive portrait of Queen made from 900 car parts #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    This series of texts about a date going wrong is dividing the internet
  2. Pics
    This child has given the most goth answer you could imagine to an ordinary school worksheet
  3. Exclusive
    10 tips for using the London Underground
  4. Pics
    This story about the UK army makes it sound like something from Blackadder
  5. News
    “Top tips for men juggling a successful career and fatherhood” hilariously nails how sexist the advice given to working women is
« Swipe navigation »