John Terry receives four-month Pepperami ban from Chelsea

Racist News: After being found guilty of racial abuse, Chelsea has handed John Terry a four month ban on eating the pork sausage snack Pepperami.

An independent Football Association panel found Terry guilty of racially abusing QPR defender Anton Ferdinand during a game in October, 2011 and now Chelsea has decided to discipline Terry themselves.

Terry is known to enjoy the meaty snack after training sessions, when he goes home to watch the Disney Channel on his big telly. Chelsea hope that by depriving Terry of one of his favourite treats, he will learn a ‘valuable lesson’ and ‘sort out his life’.

“Sometimes I just give up on John,” said exasperated club manager Roberto Di Matteo, sighing and rolling his eyes.

“We give him everything he wants and he still acts like a big jerk. I thought it was just a difficult phase he was going through, but now I’m starting to think he’s actually 100% tosser.”

Story: Simon Swatman