Sex Toy News: Excessive use of vibrating dildos can lead to the onset of early Parkinson’s, scientists claimed today.

excessive dildo use linked to early parkinson's

“Our research spans 25 years,” says Professor Paul Ruddock of the International Medical Research Quorum, Chipping Sudbury. “It’s been damned hard work, but the data is conclusive: vibrating sex toys do not sit in the drawer marked ‘consequence-free pleasure’. When used in excess they can have a harrowing effect on the body’s muscular system and trigger early symptoms of Parkinsons.”

While dildo manufacturers have rejected the findings outright, other members of the scientific community have also asked questions about the methodology behind Professor Ruddock’s research, particularly the definition of the word ‘excessive’.

“Using a vibrator every night, for 3-4 hours, over the course of 25 years, is indeed ‘excessive’,” says Professor Jane Martin of University College Warwick. “But in this experiment the research subjects were fitted with permanent vibrators against their genitals for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Some did indeed develop Parkinson’s. Others simply threw themselves off a bridge, giggling and waving their hands about.”

Story: Jasper Gibson

T-Shirt Of The Week > Get One Here 10678640_799754660064829_4742930850410394747_n

Leave a Reply

9 Responses

  • Louise McIlwraith

    This is not the slightest bit funny,totally sick!!! My mum has suffered from Parkinson’s Disease for over ten years since she was 50,it has affected her life and the rest of the family in ways you can’t imagine.Truly sick and disgusting post!!!!!

    October 10, 2012 at 9:11 am
  • Gunther the penguin

    If you can’t make a joke about something, it probably isn’t worth taking seriously.

    October 10, 2012 at 10:06 am
  • justme4you

    Louise, sorry to hear about your mother – out of interest was she a big dildo user ?

    October 10, 2012 at 10:24 am
  • Dave c

    That’s bad craic Louise but you’re reading the poke, nature of the beast it’s hardly a direct attack on Parkinson’s sufferers.

    October 10, 2012 at 10:37 am
  • Benji M

    AHAHAHA @justme4you , all my friends threw themselves of bridges but I’m not offended! eurgh….go and like all the dog stories on Facebook if you can’t laugh at this.

    October 10, 2012 at 1:07 pm
  • A diff Louise

    Oh jeez Louise come on! If that joke had been about lupus, fibromyalgia, or CRPS, which I have I’d have giggled and not been offended and yes some days I am incapacitated as much as someone’s with Parkinson’s disease, if not more. Somedays I’m stuck in bed all day waiting for my sons to get home from school to help me to the loo and yes accidents have happened. I’m only 38. And you know if that had said it about any of those illnesses I’d have thought ” so that’s what happened. Dam that was a good year”. And then laughed out loud. Because we as humans usually poke fun at the horrible things in life for 2 reasons1) because we don’t understand them or 2) because we have to endure them.
    Now lighten up and laugh a little about the bad things in life. You’d prob find you can handle them better x

    October 10, 2012 at 11:40 pm
  • bill

    well, my wife has one, and when she got parkys I threw her off a bridge.

    October 10, 2012 at 11:47 pm
  • Greg Hastings

    Musy have cost a fortune in Batteries to find out that information……unless they used Rechargable ones.

    October 11, 2012 at 1:26 am
  • Colin Jones

    Greg,

    Please could you tell us what the word “joke” means to you?

    October 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm