Europe News: UKIP leader Nigel Farage has scaled down his ambitions for the party and will now settle for his back garden seceding from the EU.
“Once my back garden is out of the meddling influence of the EU it will be free from the grip of the bullies from Brussels,” said Farage. “I shall be free to ignore the stifling EU fishing regulations and catch whatever I want from my pond.”
“I shall also be able to grow all the oddly shaped fruit and vegetables I want. My back garden will serve as a shining light of independence amidst the murky, oppressive fog of Europe.”
Addressing party members from the doorway of his shed, he predicted UKIP would cause a political “earthquake” when his garden secedes from the EU.
Farage is also demanding a full free and fair referendum on the continued membership of the EU for his front garden – and is urging his gnomes, cat and bins to consider forming a pact with anti-Europe Conservatives.
Story+Image: Simon Swatman
Like The Poke on Facebook and you will never be bored again.