Swipe left/right

Europe News: UKIP leader Nigel Farage has scaled down his ambitions for the party and will now settle for his back garden seceding from the EU.

“Once my back garden is out of the meddling influence of the EU it will be free from the grip of the bullies from Brussels,” said Farage. “I shall be free to ignore the stifling EU fishing regulations and catch whatever I want from my pond.”

“I shall also be able to grow all the oddly shaped fruit and vegetables I want. My back garden will serve as a shining light of independence amidst the murky, oppressive fog of Europe.”

Addressing party members from the doorway of his shed, he predicted UKIP would cause a political “earthquake” when his garden secedes from the EU.

Farage is also demanding a full free and fair referendum on the continued membership of the EU for his front garden – and is urging his gnomes, cat and bins to consider forming a pact with anti-Europe Conservatives.

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Popular
    If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world
  2. Pics
    This volcanologist has had business cards printed to reply to everyone making the same joke
  3. Pics
    This woman asked her family for the WiFi password and it turns out they’d left a special message just for her
  4. Pics
    “When you mistake your mate Dave for your ex driving instructor also named Dave”
  5. Exclusive
    12 unfortunate name combinations in wedding announcements
« Swipe navigation »