Swipe left/right

Mob News: Despite years of practice, angry mobs in the UK are still unable to spell the word ‘paedophile’ correctly when daubing death threats on houses or cars.

“The anger we have recently seen over Jimmy Savile is just a sad reminder that despite years of practice many angry mobs are still unable to spell the word paedophile,” said a spokesman for the National Literacy Association.

“If you’re going to write a death threat in excrement on a car windscreen it would be better if you could spell it correctly.”

The Literacy Association suggests that angry mobs should memorise a simple mnemonic to help them spell paedophile correctly in the future.

“Before going out we would like angry mobs to memorise the phrase ‘people always expect dinner on plates hardly in laps ever’. This will ensure the correct spelling of paedophile – you could also write it on your hand, but we appreciate it might rub off in the frenzied heat of the moment.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Breaking News: Together at last! People just can't get enough of Emmanuel Macron and Justin Trudeau

Trending Now

  1. Videos
    Watch the moment Emmanuel Macron totally owned Donald Trump
  2. Pics
    #Britishthreatlevels is the funniest and most British response ever
  3. News
    Together at last! People just can’t get enough of Emmanuel Macron and Justin Trudeau
  4. News
    Donald Trump met the Pope and people are having all kinds of fun with it
  5. Videos
    You’ve got to see the Pope’s face when he turns to look at Donald Trump. You’ve just got to
« Swipe navigation »