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Working News: A new report claims that British workers are the most depressed in Europe, mainly because they live in Britain.

The Impact of Depression in the Workplace in Europe Audit found that British workers are the most depressed in Europe due to the fact they live and work in Britain, which is a bit shit and rubbish.

“Living and working in a shitty country like Britain makes you feel shitty,” said Dr Roberto Malĝoja of the European Depression Association.

“We suggest people consider working somewhere with nice weather, sensible tax rates and a government that isn’t made up of Eton-educated out-of-touch sociopath wankers.”

“If you find out where this magical place is, be sure to let us know where it is as frankly I’m sick of working for the European Depression Association. It’s just so, well, depressing.”

Experts suggest employers can do more to support employees – such as not asking workers to come to the office all the time, or endlessly hassling them about every minor trvial fucking thing, or just relocating to somewhere that isn’t as crappy as the U.K.

Story: Simon Swatman

 

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