Noodle News: In a special press event today, snack manufacturers Pot Noodle have confirmed that their new flavour will ‘change everything’ that their customers understand about instant noodles.

During the event, Pot Noodle CEO Dick Mirindal promised customers that ‘Pot Noodle 5 will change everything. Again’, prompting thousands to place pre-orders for the new flavour and making people currently eating a traditional Pot Noodle suddenly feel what they have is an outdated piece of shit.

“The new Pot Noodle will be slighter larger and will take fractionally less time to cook once you’ve poured boiling water into it,” said Mirindal.

“We’ve also redesigned the cup to be thinner and more portable, while the foil on top will be easier to open and close. It’s time to think different – this is the fastest, most powerful Pot Noodle yet.”

Mirindal also confirmed that traditional forks will no longer work with the new Pot Noodle. “At Pot Noodle we care about user experience – customers will have to buy new forks to eat the new Pot Noodle, but it will make for a better snack experience – even if it means you have to throw all your existing cutlery away.”

Story: Simon Swatman

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