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Jargon News: The Department for Business, Innovation and Skills says the use of weak Olympic references during meetings has increased by 73% this summer.

“It’s been a spectacular summer for seeing business people across the UK trying to shoehorn Olympic references into meetings,” said a spokesman for the BIS. “We’ve seen a record number of managers urging staff to ‘go for gold’ or using other such deeply insubstantial phrases.”

The BIS also warned that Olympic references were dangerously stretched – one senior executive in Wiltshire attempted to motivate his staff by wearing fake sideburns and riding a racing bike around the boardroom, while another executive in Leeds kept saying to staff ‘I need you to be my Mo Farah right now’.

 “We’ve heard some deeply unsettling stories,” said the BIS spokesman. “Apparently one boss asked his staff ‘to medal up’ during a sales forecast meeting and they all threw up in their mouths a little bit.”

Story: Simon Swatman

Breaking News: Theresa May suffers ‘blue screen of death’ during Prime Minister’s Questions

 

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