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Volunteer News: The army of volunteers who helped ensure the smooth running of the Olympic games will be deployed to Afghanistan next, Downing street has confirmed.

“It makes perfect sense as they already have the uniforms,” said a Government spokesman. “And their matching grey Adidas trainers would make a smart yet sensible choice in the ninety-degree heat of Afghanistan.”

Philip Hammond, Secretary of State for Defence, was quick to defend the deployment of volunteers.

“Intelligence suggests the Taliban would become confused and demoralised if they saw Games Makers wearing pink rainproof jackets manning roadblocks in Afghanistan.”

“We also believe that the tennis umpire high chairs from the games will afford us a superior view of the enemy – and we will also be issuing Games Makers with whistles, so they can flush the Taliban out.”

Until the exact plans of the deployment are confirmed, the volunteers have been asked to return to their homes and wait for their lanyards to activate.

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

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