Punk News: Revolutionary Russian punk band Pussy Riot, which continues to defy the authorities despite three of its members being thrown in jail, sadly makes dreadful music.

“The Clash it ain’t,” admitted punk music journalist Ten Bag Billy. “Black Flag it ain’t. My brother’s pub band Johnny Bollocks and the Stranglewanks it ain’t. Which is a real shame because apart from the music they rock.”

The band, who released a video today thanking other musicians and Madonna for supporting them in their struggle, declare that they are ‘prepared to do anything’ to change their country ‘no matter the risks’. They then abseil off a building and burn an image of Putin.

“These girls are my idols!” says Russian teenager Natasha Leminov, “They’re so cool! Everyone I know wants to be like them. Except for the singing bit.”

Story: Jasper Gibson

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