Swipe left/right

Celebrity News: A hotel swimming pool has spoken of how sick it is of various D-list celebrities using it to pose in for photo opportunities for tabloid newspapers.

The swimming pool, part of a hotel complex in Majorca, says over the last three years it has been pictured with dozens of reality show rejects and soap actors, who have arranged with the paparazzi to be photographed in it for purely self-promotional purposes.

“If you excuse the pun, I can’t help but feel a bit shallow,” said the pool.

“But seriously, it’s depressing. There was a time when the relationships I had were so simple – they wanted a swim. But now I feel I’m just being used to show off some D-listers ‘beach body’ in a series of snaps you see in the Daily Mail.”

“If I wasn’t a large body of water in a geographically fixed position I’d be out of the celebrity lifestyle altogether. I just want my privacy back.”

Story: Simon Swatman

Breaking News: When Piers Morgan met Nigel Farage - top 10 funniest reviews on Twitter

 

Trending Now

  1. News
    Ex-Disney sculptor crowdfunds mass production of a naked Trump troll doll
  2. Pics
    56 times British Twitter proved that British people are funniest people on the internet
  3. Popular
    If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world
  4. Pics
    This comment from a reader of the FT has gone viral because it nails the remainer/leaver Brexit row
  5. News
    Eddie the Eagle no longer the world’s worst skier – this guy is
« Swipe navigation »