Blackmail News: After being promoted to Health Secretary today, most people are convinced Jeremy Hunt must have seen PM David Cameron kill someone.
â€śThe only logical explanation of how he still has a job is that he was eyewitness to a brutal murder that David Cameron committed,â€ť said a Downing Street source.
â€śHow else would you explain the move? Jeremy Hunt is a tax dodging, expenses fiddling, blank-eyed moron in the back pocket of Rupert Murdoch.â€ť
â€śTo put a man in charge of the NHS who publicly endorses homeopathy only makes sense if he has some serious dirt on you,â€ť said political commentator Dominic Everyman. â€śI mean youâ€™d have to have done something really, really terrible to be forced into making a choice like that.”
â€śClearly David Cameron was forced to choose between going to prison for murder, or putting a man in charge of the NHS who probably wants to spend public money on healing crystals or dream catchers.â€ť
Story: Simon Swatman