Swipe left/right

Movie News: The film industry has announced ambitious plans to start making films that are good, in the hope it will draw in moviegoers and boost falling profits.

“After extensive research it turns out audiences are keen to see a good story that’s well told by decent actors,” said Dick Dickshaw of Warner Bros. Entertainment.

“For years we thought audiences wanted meaningless gimmicks like 3D, but in truth people just want us to make good films. It’s this concept of ‘good films’ that we think will bring audiences flocking back to the cinema and give the industry a healthy surge in profits.”

Major Hollywood studios are already acting on this exciting innovation idea and are in talks with talented actors, directors and writers – with the idea that they don’t strangle the creative process at birth and churn out another year’s worth of banal, shallow horseshit.

“I can’t wait to see these ‘good’ films they are promising us,” said one avid cinemagoer. “Over the years I’ve become used to Hollywood slapping its collective dick on my forehead as I stump up another tenner to see two hours of flashing lights and shouting.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Weird World
    Man delivers a spectacular shutdown to Innocent drinks
  2. Exclusive
    Dare you sneak a peek at these 12 CURSED IMAGES?
  3. Exclusive
    19 “shit jokes” that are so shit that you might just laugh despite your better judgement
  4. Pics
    This woman’s name and job title is combining to make something pretty amusing…
  5. Pics
    30 sick and funny image drawn in Microsoft Paint based on lunatic requests from British people
« Swipe navigation »