Swipe left/right

Movie News: The film industry has announced ambitious plans to start making films that are good, in the hope it will draw in moviegoers and boost falling profits.

“After extensive research it turns out audiences are keen to see a good story that’s well told by decent actors,” said Dick Dickshaw of Warner Bros. Entertainment.

“For years we thought audiences wanted meaningless gimmicks like 3D, but in truth people just want us to make good films. It’s this concept of ‘good films’ that we think will bring audiences flocking back to the cinema and give the industry a healthy surge in profits.”

Major Hollywood studios are already acting on this exciting innovation idea and are in talks with talented actors, directors and writers – with the idea that they don’t strangle the creative process at birth and churn out another year’s worth of banal, shallow horseshit.

“I can’t wait to see these ‘good’ films they are promising us,” said one avid cinemagoer. “Over the years I’ve become used to Hollywood slapping its collective dick on my forehead as I stump up another tenner to see two hours of flashing lights and shouting.”

Story: Simon Swatman

Breaking News: Man offers pizza to London marathon runners

 

Trending Now

  1. News
    A UKIP supporter gets a perfect response on St. George’s Day
  2. Pics
    This woman’s awkward “automatically generated email address” has gone viral with 50,000 retweets
  3. Pics
    19 “Science March” protest signs that are pretty clever actually
  4. Pics
    People are sharing this article about a UKIP candidate calling it “peak ukipper”
  5. Pics
    19 awful estate agent photographs that’ll make you glad you can’t afford to buy a house anyway because they’re all terrible
« Swipe navigation »