Swipe left/right

Weather News: The Met Office has controversially blamed ‘women’ for the poor weather in the UK this summer, the second wettest since records began.

“It may seem like a harsh thing to say, but we have no evidence to prove that women aren’t wholly responsible for the poor weather the UK has experienced this summer,” said recently divorced Met Office spokesman Dan Hegel.

“Conventional logic says the rain this summer was due to a jet stream from America, but blaming women is certainly something else to consider. At the moment we are just floating it as a suggestion – we’re not ready to start burning women at the stake. That comes later, when all of our data has been collated.”

This summer has also been dullest summer since 1980, when the UK saw only 396 hours of sunshine.

“That’s probably the fault of women as well,” said Hegel. “They not only rip out your heart from your chest but they also smother light from the sun.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Trending Now

  1. News
    These 25 tweets from someone who is “definitely not a wolf pretending to be a man” are comedy genius
  2. Pics
    This “barred list” from a south London pub is the best thing anyone has shared on Twitter today
  3. Exclusive
    The “alt-right” wants people to boycott Star Wars because they just realised that they’re the Galactic Empire
  4. Pics
    17 times the SAME guy was the funniest troll in the comments underneath articles
  5. Weird World
    This ‘adult potty’ review on Amazon is quite simply the funniest review you’ll read
« Swipe navigation »