Swipe left/right

Insecurity News: Constant attention to the minutiae of the American election is adding ‘rather nicely’ to our sense that Britain no longer matters.

“They look so important. And shiny,” said Lewis Carlisle, 32, Bucks. “Clegg doesn’t look shiny. He looks cleggy. Hands up who wants things to be more cleggy!”

With the domestic political landscape increasingly desolate, bombastic visions of impressive statesmen with good skin being cheered by vast halls of delirious supporters is making the British public insecure.

“The American election is three months aways and yet the British media already has its nose firmly pressed against the White House window,” says news consumer Marin Brike.

“It’s almost as if they’re pretending their election is our election. All this coverage just rams home what a minor international player we have become. We can’t afford the rent anymore and we’ve had to move out to the political sticks.”

“I bet Swedish people don’t worry about this sort of thing. They’re too busy flogging shit furniture and arranging threesomes.”

Story: Jasper Gibson

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    This woman’s name and job title is combining to make something pretty amusing…
  2. Pics
    Can you spot the problem with this art assignment for 11 to 13-year-olds?
  3. News
    Big Sam booted out: the 5 funniest internet comments
  4. News
    A troll-genius tricked people into drilling into their iPhone 7s and they’re fuming
  5. Pics
    This man’s tweet about the ingenious thing his daughter gets up to at the shops has gone viral
« Swipe navigation »