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Travel News: Sir Richard Branson has reacted angrily to Virgin trains losing the west coast rail franchise by vowing to open ‘his own bloody railway’ in his back garden.

After a failed last–ditch appeal to David Cameron, and the signing of a new contract with First Group to replace Virgin Trains now certain, Branson declared that he will run ‘his own bloody railway on his own bloody terms’.

Branson then reportedly put on a Station Master’s cap, blew a whistle and told Transport Secretary Justine Greening to fuck off.

The billionaire businessman is expected to start work on his new railway next month and promises that it will be the largest in the world, with services connecting his house to his shed, some thirty-five miles away.

“I will also have the perfect customers,” boasted Branson. “The tiny plastic people that will travel in my new rail network will not grumble about high ticket prices or sudden service cancellations.“

“And if they do, I can melt them with a magnifying glass.”

Story+Image: Simon Swatman


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