Swipe left/right

Music News: After the conviction of punk band Pussy Riot, president Vladimir Putin has now announced plans to lock up The Black Eyed Peas.

It’s thought the two-year jail sentence handed out to the band for performing a protest against Putin in a Moscow cathedral has encouraged the Russian president to settle scores with other musicians he finds offensive.

“For a long time Putin has had a list of musicians he wants to get even with,” said a Kremlin source.

“In 2009 he got trapped in a lift that was playing The Black Eyed Peas track ‘Boom Boom Pow’ on a loop so now he wants revenge. He already has the gulag picked out in which they will live out the rest of their mortal lives.”

Sources also say his list contains the names of Bruce Springsteen and The Scorpions, two bands that Putin associates with ‘less than awesome times’ he experienced as a younger man – particularly one evening when he played a girl ‘Born To Run’ while demonstrating judo moves on a toy bear and she laughed at him.

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. News
    A troll-genius tricked people into drilling into their iPhone 7s and they’re fuming
  2. News
    Trump vs Hillary debate: the funniest 9 tweets
  3. Pics
    This “what would you ask God” sign has been vandalised in an amusing way
  4. Pics
    3 radios which have cut off the text to make the song sound hilariously rude
  5. Quiz
    Can we tell how middle class you are by which household objects you own?
« Swipe navigation »