Swipe left/right

Music News: After the conviction of punk band Pussy Riot, president Vladimir Putin has now announced plans to lock up The Black Eyed Peas.

It’s thought the two-year jail sentence handed out to the band for performing a protest against Putin in a Moscow cathedral has encouraged the Russian president to settle scores with other musicians he finds offensive.

“For a long time Putin has had a list of musicians he wants to get even with,” said a Kremlin source.

“In 2009 he got trapped in a lift that was playing The Black Eyed Peas track ‘Boom Boom Pow’ on a loop so now he wants revenge. He already has the gulag picked out in which they will live out the rest of their mortal lives.”

Sources also say his list contains the names of Bruce Springsteen and The Scorpions, two bands that Putin associates with ‘less than awesome times’ he experienced as a younger man – particularly one evening when he played a girl ‘Born To Run’ while demonstrating judo moves on a toy bear and she laughed at him.

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Trending Now

  1. Popular
    People are sharing the comments they’ve overheard in Waitrose and it’s too funny for words
  2. Pics
    This guy failed to organise a piss-up in a brewery. You should read the brewery’s response.
  3. Pics
    What people think the UK is like VS what it’s actually like
  4. Pics
    The problem with Royal stag nights, explained
  5. Pics
    A Catholic guide to Lenten ashes
« Swipe navigation »