Swipe left/right

Murder News: A builder who had no issues with cutting bricks at 6am every single day of the week has been found dead, with police labelling it a ‘motiveless crime’.

The builder, who always cut bricks up outside his house seven days a week, was found dead in his driveway, strangled with the cord from the brick cutter that he was so keen to use really early every single day.

“Detectives are investigating the case of a 47-year-old man who was found murdered this morning,” said a spokesman for Strathclyde Police. “By all accounts he was a well-loved member of the community, happy to cut bricks or wood outside his home at dawn every single day of the week – even on Sundays.”

Police are refusing to confirm if a huge amount of ear plugs had been found dumped nearby – and that all the residents in the street had a strange look of ‘great relief, mixed with the guilt of being part of a murderous conspiracy’.

“This is a quiet town, for a murder to occur here is just so shocking,” said one neighbour. “But it’s also quiet, so unbelievably quiet and peaceful now.”

Story: Simon Swatman

Next > 150 Hilarious Summer Pictures

 

Trending Now

  1. Exclusive
    10 of the best placards from #WomensMarch
  2. Pics
    Why not test your marriage against the “1939 marriage scale”
  3. Pics
    Here’s how to say “Donald Trump” in American Sign Language
  4. Pics
    13 Amazon movie reviews that might make you smile a tiny bit
  5. Pics
    If you thought a section of Donald Trump’s speech sounded familiar – it’s from a Batman movie
« Swipe navigation »