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Pornography News: A family dinner was brought to an abrupt halt last night, after a man told a rambling anecdote about the time he found a pornographic magazine in some bushes in a layby.

Garry Measures, 48, began the story after his wife mentioned she’d stopped buying ‘Take A Break’ magazine in order to save money.

Loudly clearing his throat, Garry began. “Speaking of magazines, I remember one afternoon in 1986 I was driving along the A34 on my way to a conference in Newbury. I’d just passed Didcot when I needed to pull over to pee.”

“I stopped in a layby and as I was peeing I noticed an abandoned magazine shoved in the bushes. After I finished, I pulled the dogeared magazine out of the shrubs – it was a copy of ‘Melons On Parade’ – a monthly periodical which featured nude photos of very busty women, often depicted in almost gynaecological detail.”

 “I then went back to my car and masturbated over that magazine for the next fifteen minutes.”

Confident he had his family’s full attention by that point, Garry continued. “You simply don’t get that kind of experience with pornography on the internet.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

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