Swipe left/right

Pornography News: A family dinner was brought to an abrupt halt last night, after a man told a rambling anecdote about the time he found a pornographic magazine in some bushes in a layby.

Garry Measures, 48, began the story after his wife mentioned she’d stopped buying ‘Take A Break’ magazine in order to save money.

Loudly clearing his throat, Garry began. “Speaking of magazines, I remember one afternoon in 1986 I was driving along the A34 on my way to a conference in Newbury. I’d just passed Didcot when I needed to pull over to pee.”

“I stopped in a layby and as I was peeing I noticed an abandoned magazine shoved in the bushes. After I finished, I pulled the dogeared magazine out of the shrubs – it was a copy of ‘Melons On Parade’ – a monthly periodical which featured nude photos of very busty women, often depicted in almost gynaecological detail.”

 “I then went back to my car and masturbated over that magazine for the next fifteen minutes.”

Confident he had his family’s full attention by that point, Garry continued. “You simply don’t get that kind of experience with pornography on the internet.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Breaking News: This Scottish person teaching an American some Scottish slang has a spectacular pay off

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    #Britishthreatlevels is the funniest and most British response ever
  2. News
    Donald Trump met the Pope and people are having all kinds of fun with it
  3. Videos
    You’ve got to see the Pope’s face when he turns to look at Donald Trump. You’ve just got to
  4. Twitter
    This chat between Roger Moore and a local newspaper is still one of the best things that ever happened on Twitter
  5. News
    This truly wonderful Roger Moore story will soothe your aching soul
« Swipe navigation »