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Economy News: Chancellor George Osborne has blamed the deepening UK recession on ‘out of date’ copies of the spreadsheet application Microsoft Excel 97.

Osborne said figures released on Wednesday showed Britain had ‘deep-rooted economic problems’ which he blamed entirely on people not upgrading their copies of Microsoft Office to get the latest version of Excel.

“The figures from the Office for National Statistics confirm that this is the worst double-dip recession in 50 years” said Osborne.

“The bottom line of this is that many British businesses are being let down by refusing to upgrade their copies of Excel. Imagine how much more productive the entire country could be if we were all running Microsoft Office 2010?”

Osborne says he is convinced people who are running old versions of the software are doing it on purpose, to keep the British economy stuck in a recession and make Osborne ‘look like a total dick’.

Story: Simon Swatman


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