Swipe left/right

Economy News: Chancellor George Osborne has blamed the deepening UK recession on ‘out of date’ copies of the spreadsheet application Microsoft Excel 97.

Osborne said figures released on Wednesday showed Britain had ‘deep-rooted economic problems’ which he blamed entirely on people not upgrading their copies of Microsoft Office to get the latest version of Excel.

“The figures from the Office for National Statistics confirm that this is the worst double-dip recession in 50 years” said Osborne.

“The bottom line of this is that many British businesses are being let down by refusing to upgrade their copies of Excel. Imagine how much more productive the entire country could be if we were all running Microsoft Office 2010?”

Osborne says he is convinced people who are running old versions of the software are doing it on purpose, to keep the British economy stuck in a recession and make Osborne ‘look like a total dick’.

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    Thought for the day
  2. News
    What’s Donald drawing? The funniest Twitter responses to Trump’s inaugural address photo
  3. News
    This interview gives some great insight into Donald Trump’s taste in literature
  4. Pics
    Who says delivery men never follow customer’s instructions to the letter?
  5. Pics
    You will not see a better selfie this week
« Swipe navigation »