Swipe left/right

Gun News: Following Friday’s tragic shooting at a cinema in Aurora, Colorado, America’s powerful gun lobby continued to insist this morning that killing people with guns has nothing to do with guns.

Despite strong scientific and anecdotal evidence that shooting someone with a gun can kill them, pro-gun campaigners say the are determined to resist the ‘knee-jerk conclusions’ and ‘crackpot conspiracy theories’ that threaten the right to bear arms.

“All we hear is the negative side of gun ownership,” says Clifford Parnell of the Guns4Funs pressure group.

“What about the positives? Like walking into a saloon and twirling a pistol on your finger to impress the prostitues. Or manning your domestic defense perimeter when keeping your family safe from home invaders/space invaders.”

“There’s the killer and there’s the killing,” says Republican Senator and assault weapon enthusiast Teddy Bowland, “and then there’s the gun in the middle. It’s like the cheese in a cheese sandwich. You take out the cheese, it’s still a sandwich. Why blame the cheese? You should have bought some ham and some pickle. It ain’t the cheese’s fault your goodamn sandwich tastes dry as shit.”

Story: Jasper Gibson

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    There’s an accidentally rude phrase in this Finding Dory book that’s making British parents laugh…
  2. Videos
    Watch Liz McDonald get scared by the sign language man on Coronation Street
  3. Weird World
    Wow! If you put “Liz Lemon” before Kanye’s tweets he BECOMES Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock
  4. Pics
    This supermarket job has a very specific requirement
  5. Weird World
    For some reason the Guardian refused to publish this photo of Phillip Green
« Swipe navigation »