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Gun News: Staff at the Olympic Park McDonald’s will be issued with machine guns, in order to help ease the 3,500 security guard shortfall at the games.

Security contractor G4S say they may not have enough trained staff after encountering “some delays” in processing applicants through the final stages of training.

It’s hoped that by issuing McDonald’s staff with semi-automatic weapons they will provide a ‘strong visible deterrent’ against terrorism, as well as discouraging customers from complaining about the overpriced food.

“Our staff have already had intensive catering training,” said a spokesman for McDonald’s. “So it’s not much of leap to put a Heckler & Koch MP5 sub machine gun in their hands, instead of a spatula. After all, they both have a retractable buttstock and single-fire trigger group.”

If the armed McDonald’s staff are not enough to bolster security numbers at the games, Home Secretary Theresa May has hinted that binmen may be asked to string grenades off their vests to serve as a further deterrent.

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

Leave a Reply

5 Responses

  • Maria

    And to think they all went to University so they could ask, “Do you want french fries with that hamburger?” And now they are expected to guard against terrorists as well. What is the world coming to!

    July 14, 2012 at 5:35 pm
  • I'm always right

    Making that ‘Daylight Robbery’ feeling all the more authentic.

    July 14, 2012 at 10:09 pm
  • Betty

    If they are THAT afraid of a terrorist attack, maybe they shouldn’t be having the Olympics in London, after all.

    July 15, 2012 at 4:34 am
  • John O'Neill

    The truth behind the joke is McD’s would have made a much better job of it than G4S.

    July 15, 2012 at 11:30 am
  • ken ord.

    Make my day punk do you want regular or large fries with that.

    July 21, 2012 at 1:44 am


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