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Fashion News: An impeccably well-dressed toddler has left his mother looking like a shambolic joke who clearly grabbed the nearest item of clothing before stumbling out of the house that morning.

The four-year-old boy – who was wearing a well-tailored pair of Ralph Lauren three-quarter length trousers, matched with a perfectly co-ordinated Marc Jacobs khaki t-shirt – showed up his mother on a recent trip to a delicatessen.

“At first I thought it was a well dressed little boy standing next to a pile of dirty clothes,” said deli owner Francis Pancetta. “But it then this pile of horrible rags and cloth spoke to me. I realised it was his mother. That poor, poor child.”

“It’s really a shame that the little boy took so much care over his appearance, but his Mum clearly couldn’t be bothered,” said one disapproving customer.

“It’s almost seems like raising a child left her feeling exhausted – tending to her child’s every need, giving them constant attention, always playing with them and answering their incessant questions while dragging round a big bag full of pencils, paper, toys and all that other crap parents need at hand whenever they leave the house – what kind of excuse is that? What a lazy slag.”

Story: Simon Swatman


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