Swipe left/right

Olympic News: London 2012 chairman Sebastian Coe has said David Beckham will be ‘more than an ambassador’ at the games, as he’ll be a ‘living statue’ outside the Olympic park.

“David Beckham was a key figure in the bid team that secured the Games in 2005, and has been one of the most visible supporters of it in the years since,” said Coe, deep from within his Olympic bunker that shields him from the overwhelming negativity of the British public.

“He’ll be even more visible during the games – painted a bronze colour, with a football glued to his knee, standing perfectly still outside the entrance to the Olympic park.”

After his omission from Team GB’s Olympic football squad, speculation has mounted over what role Beckham might play.

“I’m just happy to play any part in the games,” said Beckham earlier today. “I’m looking forward to silently greeting millions of visitors and perhaps scaring the odd child by moving unexpectedly.”

“I’m a north-east London boy, so it’s been great to see most of that area knocked down so they can build the world’s biggest McDonald’s and a bunch of buildings that will sit empty for years to come.”

Sory+Image: Simon Swatman


Trending Now

  1. Pics
    This video of stupid questions about pregnancy has gone viral because everyone likes laughing at stupid questions
  2. Popular
    If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world
  3. News
    This woman is exacting 17 years worth of revenge on a man who cheated on her
  4. Pics
    This old Doonesbury cartoon from 17 years ago has gone viral as it’s weirdly prophetic about Donald Trump
  5. Videos
    Toxic by Britney Spears, with added shitty flute and kazoos
« Swipe navigation »