Swipe left/right

Olympic News: London 2012 chairman Sebastian Coe has said David Beckham will be ‘more than an ambassador’ at the games, as he’ll be a ‘living statue’ outside the Olympic park.

“David Beckham was a key figure in the bid team that secured the Games in 2005, and has been one of the most visible supporters of it in the years since,” said Coe, deep from within his Olympic bunker that shields him from the overwhelming negativity of the British public.

“He’ll be even more visible during the games – painted a bronze colour, with a football glued to his knee, standing perfectly still outside the entrance to the Olympic park.”

After his omission from Team GB’s Olympic football squad, speculation has mounted over what role Beckham might play.

“I’m just happy to play any part in the games,” said Beckham earlier today. “I’m looking forward to silently greeting millions of visitors and perhaps scaring the odd child by moving unexpectedly.”

“I’m a north-east London boy, so it’s been great to see most of that area knocked down so they can build the world’s biggest McDonald’s and a bunch of buildings that will sit empty for years to come.”

Sory+Image: Simon Swatman

 

Breaking News: Our 15 favourite Noel Gallagher quotes to mark his 50th birthday

Trending Now

  1. Videos
    Watch the moment Emmanuel Macron totally owned Donald Trump
  2. Pics
    #Britishthreatlevels is the funniest and most British response ever
  3. Pics
    13 regrettable design decisions that were unlucky for the presumably sacked designer
  4. Pics
    This kind genius is running a service where he’ll fix your photo for free
  5. Weird World
    Man has a lengthy existential crisis with a spambot
« Swipe navigation »