Banking News: After an internal investigation, Barclays Bank says the recent rate-fixing scandal is a direct result of their London HQ being built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
“It’s good to know that our staff were not influenced by a long standing culture of greed in the bank,” said a spokesman for Barclays. “Instead, they were clearly the victims of a sinister supernatural force emanating from deep within the ground that our headquarters was built on.”
The investigation started after former Barclays chief executive Bob Diamond complained that his office suffered from ‘blood like’ condensation running down the walls and the sound of a ‘wailing child’ coming from the TV.
“It was quite obvious really,” said a spokesman. “It explains why all the chairs in the boardroom would get moved about on their own and why that creepy clown doll in a rocking chair would start moving of it’s own accord.”
“Not to mention why the basement car park had all those skeletons popping out of the ground. Clearly the Financial Services Authority need not investigate Barclays any further.”
Story+Image: Simon Swatman
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