Swipe left/right

Greed News: The chief executive of Barclays, Bob Diamond, fled the country last night after climbing into his personal escape pod and launching out the side of the company’s HQ.

Diamond – who is facing intense pressure to quit over the banks manipulation of key interest rates – reportedly activated the escape pod by tilting a statue of former Chancellor Nigel Lawson on his desk.

A bookshelf then slid back to reveal the hatch to the escape pod, which Diamond unlocked using a retina scan. He then climbed inside the pod, which launched out of a shaft built into the side of the Barclays HQ. His current whereabouts are unknown.

“It’s yet another demonstration of the culture of greed in banking,” said a spokesman from the Financial Services Authority.

“If these bosses didn’t get millions in bonuses they might have some sense of morality. They certainly wouldn’t have enough money to install a state-of-the-art escape pod in their corporate headquarters.”

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

 

Trending Now

  1. Exclusive
    The 27 most hilarious “publishing layout” failures of all time
  2. Exclusive
    People are eavesdropping the “posh mums of North London” and it’s comedy gold
  3. Pics
    Choose Your Religion [flowchart]
  4. Pics
    Get to know the types of Australian spider
  5. Pics
    Reading this one short paragraph will change how you see Finding Nemo forever
« Swipe navigation »