Three dead as man struggles to put duvet inside cover

Bedding News: Police have confirmed that 3 people were found dead yesterday, after a Shropshire man struggled to put a duvet neatly inside its cover.

Police were called to the address in Bridgnorth at approximately 3pm yesterday afternoon, after concerned neighbours reported the man had been shouting ‘Just get in there you bastard’ since 10pm the previous night.

West Mercia Police confirm that they found three bodies at the address, plus an incredibly distraught man trying to shove a duvet into a blood-stained cover. According to neighbours the man was sobbing ‘Why wouldn’t it just go in?’ as he was led away by police.

“We would urge any witnesses to come forward to help us with our ongoing enquiries,” said Chief Constable David Shaw at a press conference last night. “We would also urge duvet manufacturers to try and come up with a way of easily getting the cover over the duvet without driving people to commit hideous murders in a fit of rage.”

Story: Simon Swatman