Swipe left/right

Tech News: Microsoft have confirmed that its new Surface tablet will come with a pre-installed anti-iPad rant, making it easier for users to justify their choice.

“We know Surface users will face almost relentless ridicule from smug iPad owners,” said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer.

“When you’re being interrogated over your choice of tablet by some skinny jeans wearin’, soy-latte sippin’ hipster dickweed, it can be hard to formulate a comprehensive argument about why you chose Microsoft over that Apple bullshit.”

Ballmer says that the Surface will feature an Apple icon that users can press when confronted over their choice of tablet computer. The button instantly launches a specially recorded video of Ballmer bellowing out a number of reasons why Microsft Surface is far superior to the iPad.

“If that doesn’t shut them up about their finger-friggin’ iPads,’ says Ballmer. “You can use the Surface to beat them to death. That’s why we made the fuckin’ thing so sturdy.”

Story+Image: Simon Swatman

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Weird World
    This Finding Dory lamp doesn’t look so cute when you turn it on
  2. News
    People are calling this Daily Express Brexit wrongness, “correction of the year”
  3. Weird World
    Reluctant Dad makes his children sign a contract before he gets them a dog
  4. Weird World
    The Daily Star think the Navy’s new five-inch gun is only five inches long
  5. Pics
    Read this romance that started with “call this number if you’re looking for a slag” from a loo wall
« Swipe navigation »