Swipe left/right

Porn News: An ardent fan of watching pornography on his 42” TV isn’t such a fan of closing his curtains while doing so, according to his neighbours.

Mick Harris, 47, from Peckham, London, lives on the third floor of a block of flats and it’s estimated that around 40 of his neighbours inadvertently view his nightly pornography marathons.

“Thank God he sits in the dark when he watches porn,” said one neighbour. “If he had the lights on as well as the curtains open I might accidentally catch a glimpse of him tugging away when I do the washing up. I’d probably never go in my kitchen again, just in case.”

Concerned neighbours have considered asking Harris to shut his curtains, but find broaching the topic with him deeply uncomfortable – plus he looks unnerving similar to Phil Harding from Time Team.

“I honestly don’t know what to say to him,” said another neighbour. “Although I saw him fast forwarding through a brutal-looking fisting scene when I looked out of the window the other night, so I know he’s not a total monster.”

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    “When you mistake your mate Dave for your ex driving instructor also named Dave”
  2. Weird World
    Man delivers a spectacular shutdown to Innocent drinks
  3. Pics
    When Google Maps catches you picking up sex workers
  4. News
    This review of a “mattress protector” is both too much information and a man boasting he’s actually had sex with a lady
  5. News
    Dad recreates his daughter’s modelling poses and nails it
« Swipe navigation »