Swipe left/right

Attack News: Lester Forward, 38, from Sheerness, Kent, was seriously wounded yesterday evening after rounding off a prediction about the fate of a particular TV character with the phrase ‘you do the math’.

Forward, who was standing in the queue at a Tesco garage and has never visited America, was chatting to a colleague when he was set up by Edward Grant, 35, of no previous convictions, who claims ‘he just snapped’.

I was asking for ten Bensons while overhearing his conversation,” Grant told police, “and when he said ‘you do the math’ what I can only describe as a blind rage took hold of me. I took a biro from the counter and plunged it into his arm.”

Witnesses say Grant was ‘like a wild animal’, counting out loud how many times he was stabbing his victim and then shouting ‘you do the math’.

Forward, who is now recovering in hospital, says he feels ‘lucky to be alive’.

I guess I didn’t realise that Tesco’s could be full of such nutjobs – my bad.”

Story: Jasper Gibson

 

Trending Now

  1. Weird World
    Man gets schooled by Yorkshire Tea after complaining on Twitter
  2. News
    Five BEST piss-taking tweets in response to the Theresa May “red, white and blue Brexit” bollocks
  3. Exclusive
    The 27 most hilarious “publishing layout” failures of all time
  4. Pics
    “Finland breakfast” sounds like what everyone needs this morning
  5. News
    Bloke complaining about people being “offended by Christmas” goes viral as people rip the piss out of him
« Swipe navigation »