Swipe left/right

Science News: Scientists issued a stark warning today about the effect of an increasing number of women with fake breasts reaching old age, dying and then being buried.

What happens to your breast implants when you die?Except for the skeleton, body tissue decomposes relatively quickly,” says biologist Professor Emily Sharp of UCL. “Not so silicone.”

As more and more women get enhanced boobs and therefore die with them, significant quantities of silicone are entering the food chain via the maggots that aid decay.”

Normally this isn’t a problem, but if there is a high density of silicone in the ground – for example some of the churchyards in Knightsbridge – then the digestive processes of insects and ultimately mammals become overwhelmed. Their metabolisms store the silicone as if it were fat, often at the front of the body.”

‘Mice with tits!’ was how The Sun newspaper characterised the issue, but Professor Sharp insists it’s more serious than just a localised plague of topless rodents.

Nature transmits up the food chain, and our evidence of some smaller mammals with silicone deposits under the skin may only be the beginning.”

Rats, cats, dogs, squirrels, pigs and even otters: pretty soon every animal in the UK could need a bra – and that spells disaster for our struggling farmers with their big clumsy fingers.”

Story: Jasper Gibson

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. News
    Trump supporter gets told off by the President of Estonia
  2. Videos
    This 30 video of a small bird having fun on an airport travelator is how we all want to play at the airport
  3. Exclusive
    10 mischievous acts of Wikipedia vandalism
  4. Weird World
    The actor who plays Sam on Game of Thrones was pranked into thinking this was his new costume
  5. Pics
    This 1920s guide to boiling times for vegetables explains everything about terrible British food
« Swipe navigation »