Wasp unable to fly out of open fucking window

Summer News: A wasp found itself incapable of flying out of an open fucking window earlier today, despite having gained access to the living room when the fucking window was only slightly ajar.

Frustrated resident Craig Hardbrew, 29, opened the fucking window when he first spotted the wasp, hoping it would be able to fly outside unaided. “It just kept on flying into the other pane of glass,” said Hardbrew.

“I opened that fucking window all the way, but no – it didn’t want to fly outside, it just kept on bashing its head against the pane. Stupid fucking wasp.”

Hardbrew is then said to have rolled up a copy of The Sun and used it to try and gently nudge the wasp out of the open fucking window, but with no success.

After a last-ditch attempt to prompt the wasp into leaving, Hardbrew is then said to have used the newspaper to kill the wasp, with no lasting feelings of guilt.

Story: Simon Swatman