Swipe left/right

Pizza news: A middle-aged man’s life was sent spiralling into a bottomless pit of depression, after a Pizza Hut loyalty scheme highlighted just how much pizza he’s eaten in the last six months.

“I thought I just had pizza as an occasional treat,” said Scott Bergren. “But thanks to the loyalty points I’ve racked up I’m only too aware I’ve eaten pizza every other day for the last half a year.”

“Oh God, my life is such a horrible mess. But at least I’m entitled to a free Pizza Hut branded iPod.”

Bergren, who only just realised he was on first name terms with the Pizza Hut delivery man, says the iPod will come in handy as he’ll load it up with really depressing songs by such artists as Adele and Leonard Cohen – then sit in a darkened room softly sobbing to himself while tucking into a stuffed crust BBQ meat feast pizza.

Stoy+Image: Simon Swatman


Trending Now

  1. Videos
    The subtle differences between the US and the UK in one Vine
  2. Pics
    Finally, someone is standing up to the Aslanification of the U.K and the evils of The Kerrang
  3. Pics
    If You Flip A Photo Of Bats Hanging Upside Down, They Look Like They’re Having A Wicked Dance-off.
  4. Pics
    Escher’s Relativity made with Lego
  5. Videos
    Tap sounds like a Formula One car
« Swipe navigation »