Swipe left/right

TV News: After lengthy negotiations, ITV have announced that they have poached one of the BBC’s most popular talents, the Eternal Dalek, who will co-host their early morning show Daybreak.

As well as the Eternal Dalek, ITV bosses announced that Lorraine Kelly will replace interim presenters Dan Lobb and Kate Garraway later this year.

The breakfast show has faced difficulty ever since launching two years ago, and bosses are hoping TV favourite Lorraine, and the fearsome Eternal Dalek, will bring viewers flocking back through a mixture of light-hearted fun and sheer terror.

“I’ve loved my time at the BBC,” said the Eternal Dalek. “But I am so thrilled to be joining ITV for their breakfast show. I am thoroughly looking forward to sharing the sofa every morning with such a consummate professional as Lorraine Kelly.”

When asked about struggling ratings, the Eternal Dalek was upbeat. “We have waited long for this ultimate destiny! Now the Daleks are the masters of breakfast television! Exterminate! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!”

Story+Image: Simon Swatman


Trending Now

  1. Pics
    These EDL racists are unusually self-aware
  2. News
    This woman is exacting 17 years worth of revenge on a man who cheated on her
  3. Popular
    If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world
  4. Videos
    This video of someone trolling the news to get them to inadvertently say “jungalist massive” is sublime trolling
  5. Pics
    This video of stupid questions about pregnancy has gone viral because everyone likes laughing at stupid questions
« Swipe navigation »