Swipe left/right

Boris News: The mayor of London, Boris Johnson, has set out a complete list of the faux pas he intends to make during his second term in power.

Just hours after being declared mayor, Johnson was back in City Hall on Saturday to sign in and made a brief speech in which he vowed to “work his socks off” to embarrass London.

“The Olympic games will offer me a unique opportunity to insult so many people of so many different nationalities,” said Johnson. “Be they bosch, camel jockeys, cheese-eating surrender monkeys, wetbacks or spicks I intend to insult all countries equally.”

“I’m personally looking forward to telling the Indian Olympic team that poppadoms are basically a rip off of the good old fashioned English rich tea biscuit.”

Johnson has also promised that he won’t limit himself to xenophobia and racism, he’s also keen to get back to comparing same-sex marriage to bestiality and placing the entirety of blame on Liverpudlians for the Hillsborough disaster.

Story: Simon Swatman

 

Trending Now

  1. Popular
    This man changed his name to something extraordinary to defeat the system
  2. Pics
    The whole internet is lolling at Amanda Chantal Bacon’s pretentious hippy diet of 50 foods you’ve never heard of
  3. Pics
    Office memo addresses foul language in the work place
  4. Exclusive
    Celebrities get the hipster makeover you never knew they needed
  5. Pics
    Nigeria’s greatest scam email
« Swipe navigation »